I just finished studying through the Gospel of John with my kids today. If you haven’t read John in a while I recommend it. John is a mender. Jesus actually called him when he was mending and fixing his fishing nets, (Matthew 4:21) and it seems that throughout his life John served his friends and churches with a special knack for mending. Maybe his words can be a balm to your soul today. Here is what I mean…
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At the end of the Gospel of John is a very tender and instructive scene where Jesus reinstates Peter. Similar to an event a couple of years previous to this moment, the disciples had gone out fishing and come up empty. As they quietly rowed toward the shore, they see a figure standing on the sandy beach by a campfire, looking out at them on the water. It was Jesus. He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?” “No” they answered. (John 21:5). Just like he had done a couple of years before, he tells them to drop their net on the right side of the boat. In an instant, they were overwhelmed by the number of fish that swarmed into their net. There were 153 to be exact (maybe Matthew was with them and being a former tax collector, just couldn’t help but count the fish).
JESUS RECONCILES OUR EVERY DENIAL
As soon as Peter saw this he recognized that the figure on the beach was Jesus. Quickly he put his outer clothing back on, jumped in the water and ran to him. From the context, we will see that one of the reasons for this overwhelming emotional response is that Peter was still feeling the weight of his denial of Jesus just a few days before. What an incredible reunion with their Master. After sitting and sharing a meal, Jesus then pulls Peter aside for one of the most memorable encounters between he and one of his disciples that has ever been written. After breakfast Jesus asks Simon Peter:
Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?’ ‘Yes, Lord,’ Peter replied, ‘you know I love you.’ ‘Then feed my lambs,’ Jesus told him. Jesus repeated the question: ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ ‘Yes, Lord,’ Peter said, ‘you know I love you.’ ‘Then take care of my sheep,’ Jesus said. A third time he asked him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, ‘Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.’ Jesus said, ‘Then feed my sheep. – John 21:15-17
1. JESUS DRAINS OUR SHAME
There are several important things going on here. First, we learn something about Jesus. Jesus reconciles our every denial. Three times, Jesus asks Peter to restate his commitment and loyalty to him, because three times Peter has just recently denied him. He did not do this to throw salt on his wound. No, just the opposite. He asked him three times if he loved him because he wanted Peter to be able to fully, emotionally, relationally let the shame drain out of his heart for what he had done. Jesus loved Peter so much, he did not want him weighed down by shame. He loves us the same.
2. FROM FISHERMAN TO SHEPHERD
Secondly, Jesus changes the metaphor for discipleship from fishing to shepherding. Jesus asks Peter to be a shepherd rather than a fishermen. This was symbolic for Peter because he was most comfortable with fishing. Yet shepherding is harder… it involves sheep who have personalities and needs.
What did this miracle of the 153 fish teach Peter? The lesson is that apart from Jesus you can do nothing. In terms of fishing, they had come up empty in their own strength, but when Jesus spoke, their nets were full. Jesus taught this principle in many ways to his disciples: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5) Now the call was to be a good shepherd to a world of people who the Savior was going to start stirring toward saving faith. Discipleship is both fishing and shepherding, but for Peter, in this moment Jesus emphasized shepherding probably so that he would not rely on his own strength.
3. WE’LL NEVER BE MORE THAN A BEGINNER…
Thirdly, after this incredibly tender moment with Jesus where Peter’s denials are completely reconciled and he is given new purpose and direction as a leader, we see again his youth and humanness come out. Right after Jesus explains to Peter that he will most definitely face trials and persecution for following him, he starts wondering about everyone else rather than just being concerned with himself. Like Peter, we too will all be nothing more than a beginner in our discipleship… we are all knuckleheads to some degree.
Here’s how it unfolded for Peter:
Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, ‘Lord, who is going to betray you?’) When Peter saw him, he asked, ‘Lord, what about him?’ Jesus answered, ‘If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.’ – John 21:20-22
Amazing. And familiar, if we are honest. Almost the first thing that comes out of Peter’s mouth after this incredible reinstatement with Jesus, is sin… again. My guess is that Peter and John had some natural competitiveness between them and it comes out plain as day here as Peter says, “What about him?” Lovingly, but firmly Jesus corrects his adolescent spirituality and says, “What is that to you?” Enough said. That probably settled it for Peter and his life was never the same.
4. YOU CAN’T FULLY TAKE THE “DUFUS” OUT OF THE DISCIPLE
One of the principles I have gleaned from John’s Gospel is: You can’t take the Dufus out of the disciple. We are all a bit like Peter. Yet Jesus loves us just the same. We are going to sin, we are going to betray Christ, we are going to be lazy and disobedient, or just plain prideful or selfish at times. We are not without sin. Later, actually, in one of his other pastoral letters, John says it this way:
“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. – 1 John 1:8-9
As a disciple, it is key to just accept that you are a dufus at times. We may grow out of it a little bit as we spiritually mature (i.e. sanctification). But we will never completely be rid of our dufusness until we go to be with Jesus.
By accepting this reality, we will know Jesus better, we will feel closer to him, and we will experience his mending words more regularly. If we deny being a dufus like Peter then we will probably just keep going back to our old, unsatisfying comforts and miss out on the purposes, places, and people Jesus has for us to impact. You’ll never get the dufus out of your discipleship, so let’s just gasp with wonder at his grace and start being an instrument of mending for other people’s souls.
“Do you love me?” “Feed my sheep.”
REFLECTION QUESTIONS
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Read through John 21 prayerfully and imaginatively put yourself in Peter’s shoes emotionally, intellectually, and physically to understand the context of this “mending moment” that he encounters with Jesus.
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How can you relate being a “Dufus disciple” like Peter displayed his youth, immaturity, and humanness over and over again?
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Ask Jesus to invite you to his campfire to share a meal reinstate your many denials and sins of late so that you can keep walking more intimately with him into this world that desperately needs your impact.