Category Archives: Relationships

Posted on

DISCIPLESHIP FROM ROOT TO FRUIT | JOHN 15:1-17

A believer may pass through much affliction, and yet secure very little blessing from it all. Abiding in Christ is the secret of securing all that the Father meant the [discipline] to bring us.
 – Andrew Murray
It’s so easy to complicate discipleship in our age of information and to-do lists. Yet even if we might be complicating discipleship toward more “doing” than “being” in Christ, we can rest assured that Jesus will prune us to become fruitful again. If you feel scattered and distracted as I often do, maybe these words spoken by God to Ezekiel will bring you some comfort and nourishment to your discipleship this week:
And he said to me, ‘Son of man, feed your belly with this scroll that I give you and fill your stomach with it.’ Then I ate it, and it was in my mouth as sweet as honey. – Ezekiel 3:3
discipleship root to fruit
It’s no wonder that what grounds us the most in our walk with God is simply to mediate (or eat in the case of Ezekiel) whole chunks of Scripture. Scripture is the sap that our tired branches need for revival.
Posted on

5 WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR TEEN

Good relationships are vital to health. Family relationships, especially, are fundamental in equipping children to live a happy and successful life. Achieving strong family relationships take care, work, and effort. It is no surprise to anyone that the teen years bring challenges that can threaten good, positive relationships between parents and their children. There is hope, however, of combating these challenges and maintaining or developing strong, healthy relationships with your teens.

parent-teen relationships

ParentFurther is an online resource that has tools to help families strengthen relationships through shared activities. They have identified 5 research-backed relationship strategies to help us learn and grow with each other.

  1. EXPRESS CARE

We all need to know that we are cared about. Teens especially need to feel that their parents care about them. Care is shown when we listen, when we are warm to each other, when we invest in each other, when show interest, and when we are dependable. Research shows that when children and youth have warm caring relationships, they do better in school, have less risky-behavior, work harder, and have a hopeful sense of purpose.

  1. CHALLENGE GROWTH

Challenging occurs is many forms in the parent-child relationship. Part of a parent’s role is to challenge their child to grow, learn, and improve. Inspire your teen to see future possibilities for themselves. Give expectations that are clear and communicate that you want your child to live up to their potential. Stretch your child by encouraging them to push beyond their abilities Provide limitations that hold your child accountable to rules and expectations

  1. PROVIDE SUPPORT

Support also come is many ways, but there can never be too much of it! Supporting your teen in practical and noticeable ways occurs through encouragement, guidance, modeling, and advocating. As relationships are two-way, so is support. It is good for parents to have support from other adults as a model for your teens.

  1. SHARE POWER

“Sharing power” refers to the actions used to influence, learn from, and work with each other. How do you share power then? In our relationships it looks like sharing respect, negotiating (giving each other a voice in making decisions that affect them), responding to each other, and collaborating to accomplishing goals and solve problems.

  1. EXPAND POSSIBILITIES

Trying new things, meeting new people, going to new places, and thinking about new ideas are all ways in which you can expand possibilities for yourself and for your teen. Help your teen explore by exposing them to new people, places, and things. Connect them to others that can help them grow. Navigate through problems that could prevent them from expanding their possibilities with them.

Visit parentfurther.com for more information about these strategies and to read about the research backing them. You will also find quizzes and discussion questions to ask your teens.

I highly recommend you visit their website and take their free inventory to see growth areas in your own parenting skills with teenagers.

Posted on

Joy can be Experienced When Circumstances Stink – Matthew 5: 1-12

The Sermon on the Mount for Teenagers

Two things that every teenager can identify with are a lack of hope and a deep sense of loneliness. Joy is the remedy, but how do you find it?

burned outLACK OF HOPE

When classes get hard, school seems totally pointless, friends betray you, you get cut from a team or fail a quiz… all of this can make a teenager feel hopeless. Hope is when a person has reason to believe something good is going to happen to them. Teenagers, because of the roller coaster of emotions and disloyalty among peer relationships, often do not feel like anything good is going to happen to them today, or tomorrow. Because emotions are heightened in adolescence, it is not uncommon for them to either hate or love school, depending on the day or month. This is a normal pattern, but it is not a helpful one. Those of us who really love teenagers can do something to help our teenage friends experience hope even if their circumstances stink.

LONELINESS

Because everyone wants to feel included, teenagers tend to run in small packs. Unfortunately to preserve their sense of belonging they often cut down or make fun of other kids who are not in their group. The devastation of this pattern is insecurity for just about everyone. When a kid cuts someone down or does not show mercy toward someone who messed up, the result is deeper loneliness because everyone intrinsically knows that they are no better than anyone else. Eventually this “pack mentality” catches up with everyone. Each of us will mess up and get made fun of or ridiculed, its just a matter of time.

So how do you break out of this vicious cycle, and maybe help another teenager get free from this joyless trap of loneliness and fleeting hope?

Posted on

Burned Out? Ministry Longevity Depends on Proper Motivation

burned outBurned out? Leaders who last focus on impact, not activity. Longevity depends on having the right motivation.

Did you know that the average tenure of a youth pastor is somewhere around 9 months?  My friend Mike Dodge, with Canterbury Youth Services tracked the ministry of youth pastors for several years in New Zealand and he verified this statistic. It doesn’t take a rocket science to look at that number and think there must be some sort of a problem in the system.

If you invest in young people as a parent or youth leader, if you are a youth pastor or know a youth pastor, then this article is for you. I could suggest many reasons why youth pastors and youth workers on average don’t last very long in ministry, but I would rather approach this from a more positive angle. Young people in every culture and every city need committed leaders to pursue them with the Gospel. We can’t afford to avoid the topic of sustainability in youth ministry because it is one of student ministry’s greatest threats.

Posted on

30 Things Teenagers Want in a Relationship

Teens think a lot about what they want in a relationship. This is an opportunity for youthworkers to help them align w/ God’s design for sex & relationships

camp lakeTeenagers are intensely relational. They are figuring out who they are and what it means to be a friend. They are also thinking about what they desire in a relationship. This is a very normal stage of development. It is also an incredible opportunity for youth workers to help teenagers figure out how to align their lives with God’s design for sex and relationships.

A survey at a high school outreach camp asked a few hundred kids this question:

What is one thing that you want from a relationship?

Here are their answers: